Flip Your Script

I had a live video of my podcast, ‘ManAlive!’, on my InstraLIVE Channel this morning with my good friend, Daniel Tuttle. Dan is currently a Facilitation Coach (FC), Life Coach (CLC) and well-versed in social topics that readily affect all of us currently. Like me, Daniel’s focus is on taking a person who is questioning themselves or someone who may feel vulnerable and broken and give them a dose of positivity, a game plan and being 100% realistic about what is possible for that individual. On the surface, anybody can say that this process sounds simple enough when you put things in perspective, pull yourself up and cut the shit that you’ve been telling yourself. However, life isn’t that simple and things are not that black and white. One of the first things that I always ask my guests on my show is “What’s your story?” Dan went started by sharing how he had been in the entertainment business for about 35 years, acting in TV shows and movies; working with A-List actors and directors, etc. He thought that THIS is what was going to make him happy because from a young age, it was THE thing that he wanted to do with his life. Society tells us that success is found by how famous, successful and visible you make yourself appear within the public eye and that was everything that Dan had but there was still an emptiness. He wanted to by being an actor, help people connect with their truth and as a fellow thespian, the main goal of any actor is to tell stories that make you examine certain things about yourself, the world, etc. So Dan started asking questions from the universe…., “What should I do?, Whom should I help?” After months and years of training, he started to put together his business called The Provocative Intuitive.

We’ve all been at a point where it feels like we’re suffocating with our professional lives, personal goals or what-have-you. Did you ever stop and think that all of this turmoil that you’re going through could actually be the greatest gift that has been handed to you though? When the chips are down and our backs are against the wall, we usually have two choices: fight or flight. If you’re smart, you’ll use the ‘opportunity’ of the suffocation to help direct you in a whole new direction that could take you to new and interesting places Dan told me. The one thing that is going to make you stand out by going through these trials however is gratitude. I always have been a firm believer in that whatever you are given, the things you work for and the success you reap from doing certain things should be met with a sense of gratitude or thanking the ‘greater good’ for the progress that you’ve made in your lifetime. This was one of the big takeaways from the first part of my conversation with Dan. If you trust in yourself first, do the hard stuff and collect the benefits, you must be grateful in some way because isn’t that what we’re really on this planet for? To express on our own terms just how grateful we should be for our place in life and just to exist!

How do we move forward with our lives when we choose something greater than our current situation? Lead with kindness is both mine and Dan’s advice. There will be people who will try and knock you down, tell you that what you’re doing is crazy and sometimes be angry with you. The first thing that you must do is stop, take a second and breathe. In some spiritual traditions, it’s said that the breathe is the only thing close to God. If somebody angry with you for how you live your live or are going about handling your goals, etc., the worst thing that you can do is to automatically react, right?! Stop, assess the sitch, breathe AND then react to whats’ happening. If most of us would take up that practice, we probably wouldn’t see as many problems with each other today as we often do.

We also discussed masculinity and myself being a men’s life coach, this was my area of expertise, which is why I opened up a dialogue on this subject because I think it’s something that people need to be talking about more. Men are complex creatures and trying to breakdown barriers and stereotypes that most of us men have been taught since we were young boys is difficult to undo, especially if we see nothing wrong with the way we’re acting. Being a personal trainer for over a decade, it’s very gratifying for me when I truly reach a guy who is dealing with numerous issues and needs to ‘let it out’. Men are emotional too, probably more-so than our female counterparts at times because of our natural reaction to hold everything in. When somebody actually lends and ear to listen, the floodgates open and the emotions come forth. We need more of that, honestly, because trying to hide or not acknowledge what men identify as ‘negative’ feelings or emotions comes out in bad ways if not dealt with or expressed.

Regardless of whatever our goals are or what our life’s journey consists, I encourage you to lead yourself with gratitude and humble yourself. The only road to greatness is one traveled with feelings of being grateful of your truth, your struggles and your scars. Being great begins with being GREATful for the negative as well as the positive people and experiences that have assisted you to get you where you NEED to be not exactly where you are meant to be.

I understand that this blog entry is a little out of alignment with the others that I’ve posted in the past but should be discussed more and will be discussed more on this blog because a part of fitness is being emotionally and intellectually fit. I want to expose people to the kinds of interviews that I have on my podcast and for people to find something within the conversations that they can takeaway for themselves that they can utilize in their daily lives. Whatever you do, go out there and be GREATful and practice some gratitude today!

Here is the link to my conversation with Dan: https://www.instagram.com/tv/Cev_C3AITWK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

#gratitude #actors #writers #author #gaymen #lgbtqia+ #comingout #masculinity #toxicemotions #fitness #intellectualfitness #emotionalhealing #personaltrainer #wellnesscoach #menslifecoach #facilitationcoach #shame #bullying #pain #abuse #visability #fearofbeingseen #showupandbeseen #protection #courage #conversation #itgetsbetter #menswork #baggage #growingupgay #maleproblems #empathy #beingseen #nojudgement #judgement

John Schessler is a Pittsburgh-based Personal Trainer, Wellness & Men’s Life Coach & host of his podcast, ‘ManAlive!’ that is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. What do you think of this article? What topics would you like to see covered here? If you want to contribute or just say hi, email me at j.schessler@pghwellnesscoach.com