Flip Your Script

Insecurities. We all get them and we all are insecure at times, some of us are just better than others in hiding it from the rest of the world. It’s not easy to navigate through the world with an over-abundance of confidence about yourself, especially when the world tells you how you are supposed to look, act, carry yourself, etc. Inside of all of us, there is still that insecure and scared little boy or girl that just wants to be accepted and belong with those in our tribe. As I already said, some of us have created defense mechanisms and trauma responses to avoid feeling insecure such as bullying others, making jokes about ourselves and pretending to not give a damn when other people make light of our bodies or the way we act. The sad part is that most of us DO care what other people think and we care what we think of OURSELVES. To promote Pride month and inclusion of self, here is my breakdown of the top 10 strategies to improve your body image, love yourself more and vibrate those feelings onto others.

1. Appreciate all that your body is able to do. Not everyone is capable of doing everything, in a physical sense to be specific. Also, not everybody is in their 20s anymore either. Be grateful, especially if you are up there in years, that your body is in as good of shape as it is and if you are free of disease and other issues, celebrate that shit!
2. Write a list of the things you like about yourself. If you are a visual person like me, sometimes writing down all the things that you like about yourself and the things that you are good at may spark some pride in yourself to create new goals, reflect on how far you’ve come and a reminder to not beat yourself up over the small things.
3. Look at yourself as a whole person; not parts. Each of us is one being, not parts to nitpick about and talk negatively on. Sure, we all have things about ourselves we want to improve upon and having those kind of goals is awesome but try not to rip yourself apart piece by piece when the whole of you is doing a bang up job by itself.
4. Be critical of social media messaging and advertising. This is where most of the negative thoughts in our heads about how we look and how people perceive us to be take root from. Social media can be a great tool if used correctly, however, there is a lot of negative advertising, body shaming, etc. that goes on as well. Before you get sucked into the negative social media rabbit hold, do your due diligence and don’t believe everything that you read or see online.
5. Shut down the negative voices in your head. This is easier said than done most times. The thoughts we have about ourselves are usually 100% falsehoods and created by our own minds. Overthinking about who you are and how you look in a negative way can have lasting psychological effects in the long-term if you cannot change the narratives that you tell yourself about yourself.

1. Practice self-care on a regular basis. At the end of the day, you’re all that you’ve got and if you are not operating on all cylinders, a little self-care may be needed to rejuvenate things. Take a small vacation, visit a spa, take a nap. Do something that makes you feel relaxed so that when the activity is finished, you feel better than before you started it.
2. Worry less; use that energy to help others. We spend so much useless energy worry about things that in the long run, don’t amount to anything anyways. Harness that energy you’re spending on worrying and transfer it into helping those around you make better choices in their lives, listen if they need to vent, etc. Helping others creates good karma for yourself and you definitely will reap the benefits.
3. Treat yo’ self! This goes along with self-care but definitely bears repeating. You are no good to anything if you can’t treat yourself kindly and with compassion. Treat yourself to a fancy dinner, go to a movie or on a solo vacation. You deserve to be pampered as well and who better to pamper yourself than you!
4. Wear something that makes you feel good. Those comfy sweatpants, a nice suit, etc. Whatever makes you feel your best when you wear it, strut it out! You really have nobody to impress in this life because you are the most important person that you need to take care of. Squeezing yourself into something uncomfortable isn’t going to make you feel happy so trade the six-inch heels for some comfortable sandals every now and then.
5. Don’t be deceived by appearances; true beauty is found within. My favorite line from Beauty and the Beast. Why’s that? Because it is so true. Judging a person by their outer appearance alone is simply unfair because what’s underneath the outside wrapper usually holds more substance than outside looks ever could.

Loving yourself more requires getting to know yourself better, the good and the bad parts of you. Learning what things make you tick and what doesn’t is going to create a stronger connection to yourself. You also want to be your #1 cheerleader as well. No one wants you to succeed more than you want yourself to and if you’re not rooting for yourself, then what’s the point, right? Using positive language when you talk about yourself to others as well as when you talk to yourself (we all talk to ourselves and it doesn’t mean you’re crazy, lol) is so important because the again, the things that we tell ourselves carrying more weight than we think they do.

These are just a few simple things that each of us can do to help create more positive spaces for ourselves from day to day. You will definitely be a lot better off in the long run!

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John Schessler is a Pittsburgh-based Personal Trainer, Author, Men’s Life Coach and the host of the “ManAlive!” Podcast available on Apple and Spotify Podcasts. He is also an advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights, educational and teacher rights, mental health and suicide awareness. If you have a specific topic you would like to have me write about or just want to say hello, email me at j.schessler@pghwellnesscoach.com!